Christmas Movies

Christmas Movies for Grownups Only

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Do you sometimes get bored with touching Christmas movies that tug at your heartstrings and implore you to discover the true meaning of Christmas? Me too. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll devour hours of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies during the season. But sometimes I want a raunchy laugh out loud movie that implores me to discover my inner 13-year-old boy who laughs at fart jokes.

Christmas Movies

Whip up a batch of homemade eggnog spiked with hot buttered rum (recipe at end of the post!) and settle in for a night of juvenile Christmas humor with some of our picks.

Die Hard

I’ve seen some debate lately about whether or not Die Hard actually counts as a Christmas movie or not. It takes place during Christmas, does it not? Glad we settled that. And welcome to the party, pal!

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

It’s a testament to how good this movie is that it’s practically become a holiday classic, in the traditional sense of the word no less. There’s nothing traditional about this movie at all except for the premise that all Clark Griswold really wants is a traditional Christmas. If, by chance, you were raised by wolves in the wilds of Alaska and have only recently joined society, please watch this movie.

Bad Santa

If you couldn’t figure it out from the name, this isn’t a movie about a jolly, fat white guy. Billy Bob Thornton plays a conman who uses the suit to rob stores at the mall. As per the usual, chaos ensues.

Bad Santa 2

Because why not?

Office Christmas Party

Jason Bateman is one of my favorite actors. I’ll watch just about anything if he’s in it. He’s in this. And it’s funny as hell.

The Night Before

What do you do when confronted with the realization that at some point you have to grow the eff up? Party all night with your BFF’s, of course. Either this is a plot to a movie or I just described literally every night of my 20’s.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

This tongue-in-cheek parody of film noir stars Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer in a life imitating art imitating life movie. Or something like that.

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas

I hesitated about including this one because it ranks high on the old raunch-o-meter. Some might even say it’s offensive and not funny at all (not me). This is definitely one that you not only want the kids to be asleep while you watch, you might want them out of the house completely. Everyone’s favorite stoners are back for one more Christmas adventure. And yep, Neil Patrick Harris is in this one too.

And if raunchy just isn’t your thing, I totally get that. There will be no judgment here ever. You can still introduce a little non-traditional holiday fun into your life and STILL watch those Hallmark movies! How?

By playing the most genius drinking game that’s ever been dreamed up by mere mortals.

Is there a mention of a relative that’s no longer among the living? Drink! Is there a magic deal with Santa or an angel? Drink! Watch out – if it snows on Christmas you’re chug-chug-chugging that drink down. And if the movie stars either Candace Cameron Bure or Lacey Chabert, it’s a shot for you, my friend! GENIUS! Click on the link to the full-article and original Facebook post.

To give you a little push in the right direction, here’s a recipe for homemade eggnog and hot buttered rum. After a few of these, you might start thinking you’re the angel.

I love Christmas movies but sometimes I don't want touching and heartwarming. I want a raunchy, laugh out loud movie. If you do too, then this list for you!

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